Dear son,
I know that you know me as “Daddy” and that you aren’t
really sure what I do between leaving home each morning and returning at night
for dinner. You just know that on those mornings it means Daddy doesn’t take you
for a run in the jogging stroller.
I want you to know that I leave home all those mornings
because, aside from being your Daddy, I am also a pastor. As a pastor, I meet
and have conversations with a lot of people. A lot. Before and after worship. At meetings. At people’s homes. At
conferences. At the hospital. At the nursing home. At the soup kitchen.
In those conversations, I almost always manage to mention
you and your baby brother, because, quite frankly, you and your brother are the
best things your mother and I have ever contributed to the world. Your mother
and I cannot even begin to tell you how much you and your brother mean to us.
Whenever I talk about you or your brother, people often
express joy and excitement about you, knowing how much your mother and I
treasure you both. But occasionally,
after hearing that I have two young children, people will sigh, shake their
heads, and say, “I wouldn’t want to be a child born into this awful world we
live in today. The world is going down the tubes fast!”
As I have pressed people to explain exactly what they mean
by those words, I have discovered that this phrase is often code for “I
wouldn’t want to be a child born into a country where white people will
eventually not be a racial majority anymore.” Or, “I would not want to be born
into a world with so many Muslims in it.” Or, “I wouldn’t want to be born into
a world where gay people are allowed to be public about who they are and even
marry each other.”
I know you don’t know what any of that means yet, but one
day you will. And I bring this up to you, because just a few days ago, a lot of
our LGBT brothers and sisters lost their lives simply because of who they were
and who they loved. Not only have their lives been lost, but many of our LGBT
brothers and sisters who remain have had wounds re-opened, wondering if someone
will try to target them.
Many of those who lost their lives were also our Latino and Latina
brothers and sisters. These people are accustomed to being called dehumanizing
names like “illegal” and “alien.” There has been a lot of dialogue for years
about building walls to keep “them” out of “here.” This is yet another painful reminder
to those who remain that there are many people who do not want them to be where
they are.
As if that weren’t bad enough, because the person who took
their lives claimed to be a Muslim, many of our brothers and sisters who are
Muslims will surely experience renewed harassment in the coming days, weeks,
and months.
Son, I say all that to say this:
I don’t know what you will grow up to be. I don’t know if
you will identify as male or female. Right now you think you are a dump truck,
and that is enough for me!
If you grow up and realize you are gay, know that your
mother and I love you. God loves you. You don’t have to keep it a secret. We
will love you and support you no matter what. Others may try to tell you that
you’re a mistake and try to use religious books as weapons against you. But you
are not a mistake. God doesn’t make mistakes. You are a beautiful child of God
made in the very image of God. Don’t forget it!
If you grow up and realize you are straight, know that your
mother and I will love you then, too. God loves you. Life will be easier for
you because the world will call you “normal,” but remember that this privilege
should not be wasted. When you see others being picked on, singled out,
discriminated against, or even killed simply because of who God has made them
to be, you must speak up. Your LGBT
brothers and sisters are beautiful children of God made in the very image of
God. Don’t forget it!
Maybe you will grow up and become disenchanted with the
Christian faith as it has been handed to you. Perhaps you will wonder why the
church often fails to practice what it preaches. Maybe you will wonder why the
gospel message of love, grace, and mercy for all so often gets morphed into
judgment, exclusion, and apathy.
In your disenchantment with the Christian faith as it has
been handed to you, you may decide to turn to other religions. If you become a
Muslim (or a Jew, or an atheist, or anything else), know that your mother and I
still love you. God still loves you. You do not deserve to be harassed for your
faith, regardless of what extremists who invoke the name of your God do. You
are a beautiful child of God made in the very image of God. Don’t forget it!
Maybe you will grow up and stick with the Christian faith.
Maybe you will be utterly captivated by the most beautiful expressions of the
Body of Christ that call you to be part of it. Maybe you will also see those
troubling, disturbing, and incredibly imperfect expressions of the Body of
Christ that move you to stick around in order to actively participate in God’s
transformation of them.
Not exclusion, apathy, and even hatred toward people of different sexual orientations.
Not dehumanization and exclusion of people of other races and languages.
Not harassment and stereotyping of people of other faiths, or no faith at all.
Love.
Don’t forget it.
